throes of revision

So, Rachel's got her book revised and off to beta-readers and critique groups...and I'm still revising.

I think it's really good that Rachel and I are on this journey together because I get to compare my progress against someone else's. If I didn't have her constant tweeting about how awesome she is (because she is!), I might think I'm doing alright. And I guess I am, really, I just wish I were a little further along in my process.

But, I've only got 17 more days of school (plus records' day, but that doesn't REALLY count). After that, I've got approximately three glorious months wherein I'm going to live the life I eventually want to live full-time: the life of a writer.

I say this every summer. Every summer, I have a list of things I plan to do--writing is usually one of those things. But I'm lazy by nature, and other things seem to win out (lame movies and TV on DVD are perennial winners). But this year, it's real. I think having a goal in mind (namely ebook publishing and having all three books of my trilogy out by August) will keep me focused. And, of course, a little friendly competition.

It's good I've got support for this venture. Not that people in my life haven't always been supportive of my wanting to write--this is just a different kind of support. Not only do I have Rachel, I have another friend who is also writing YA who is giving me LOTS of feedback and advice, and I know Awaking will be much, much better for it.

It also helps to have a timeline for everything. Yes, I want the Naturals trilogy to be out by August. But that's not the end of the dream. Rachel and I have plans to be 30 and out (as evidenced by our created Twitter hashtag). Now, I know I can't control how many people buy my books. I mean, I can encourage them to do so, but, really, I can't force anyone. So, I'm focusing on the one thing I can control: the books themselves. I'm working on these revisions to turn this book into the great story I know it is (somewhere, deep down). I'm still working from the advice given to me by my mentor teacher in high school: you can't assume the reader knows what you know. I used to start scenes all the time with dialogue and just assume that the reader would know that the characters were at lunch, at a baseball game, on the moon, etc. I would, of course, reveal said location a few paragraphs in, but I didn't realize that the reader needed to be told before that. It's kind of the same thing in Awaking right now: The reader will realize certain things down the line, but if I don't get her attention to begin with, she won't read far enough to figure it out.

So, now that I've got the bare bones down, I need to finish my surface revision/edit (adding simple scenes, fixing awkward wording and typing errors) and then start on the real work. I need to amp up some characters, I know it. I need to add more interactions with said characters. I need more intrigue, I need more investment...

I know what I need. I have ideas in my mind of what needs to be added and modified. I just have to do it.

And I will. I'm going to start right now.

on a roll

So, I'm for-real revising. I've moved things. I've added things. I've even deleted bits.

It feels good, but weird. The first couple chapters have been written for so long, so changing anything in them is strange. I think it'll be easier revising the newer stuff, just because I'm not as used to it.

I'm just excited to make things better. I really, really like this draft, but I know that there are some bits missing. (And not just the scenes I skipped over toward the end.) There are some things to change, some things to clarify.

I can't say that revision is the most difficult part of the process, but it's definitely a challenge. I shift between being convinced that what I've written is right and doesn't need any improvement and thinking that I'll never be done fixing it. And then, of course, there are the thoughts of impossibilities: How do I differentiate my characters' voices so that they don't all sound like the same person? How do I keep readers interested throughout the whole story? Throughout the whole series?

It'll be worth it, though. That's what I keep telling myself. Everything I do is making my book better. I hope.

I really don't want to put out something mediocre just because I'm so excited to get something out there. As much as I want to get started with ebooks, I want what I put out there to be great.

Truth? I'm totally jealous of Rachel, because she's farther along on the journey than I am. (Though she is busy watching Fringe of late, so maybe that'll give me some time to catch up.)

So, in order for me to get things done, I've got to stop watching Stargate SG-1 (Walter Bishop's in this episode!) and continue the revising process. Chapter two! I saw two bunnies today, which is an auspiscious sign.

the ending of an era

I'm slowly coming to terms with the fact that it's Friday.

I know, I know. For most people, Friday is cause for celebration. But for me, this week, Friday only means that Monday will bring the "real world" and its responsibilities. I won't be able to just sit and write and write and write. I'll be lesson planning. And grading.

(In fact, as much as I had intended to not let this happen, I've got things to grade right now. I've avoided them all week in favor of writing. But now it's time to pay the piper.)

The bright side is there, however: Monday starts the fourth quarter of the year, which means the end is in sight. If I can make it to June 6th, then I have until late August to write all I want.

This break has been really good for me and for Awaking. It's been quite some time since I've actually finished a draft that I've started (perhaps even since the first draft of this particular book -- which was a long time ago). That I'm 35,000 words into this draft right now is a triumph.

I only wish I could write faster. Maybe that'll be my goal for book two of the trilogy. Or, let's face it, the rest of book one.

I think I'm going to focus all my energy on finishing this trilogy before I work on anything else. Maybe this seems like the obvious choice, but I've really been struggling with this. I've got the promising beginnings of a sports-related story (another rewrite) and I'm really excited to finish that one off. But I'm thinking that trilogy first is going to be the wisest choice. But what to work on after that is the question that begs to be answered now. I was talking with my husband about this last night: I don't know if I'm genre-specific--and I don't know whether that's a good thing or a bad thing. I've got a few supernatural-type stories kicking around, but I've got just as many (more?) realistic fiction ideas. I'm not sure whether this will work for me or against me in the long run.

Speaking of decisions, I'm currently trying to decide something about the actual release of Awaking. I'm wondering if it wouldn't be prudent to wait until book two is also complete and release them back-to-back. I'm still considering the wisdom (or folly) behind this idea. Any insights?

Okay. It's after nine o'clock and I haven't written nearly as much as I should have today. And today, sadly, is probably the last day I'll have for a while to really sit and just write. Tomorrow I move my sister in to live with me, and Sunday I'm playing at church...and, let's face it, getting ready for the work week.

spring break joys

Today is the second official day of Spring Break. I mean, I guess it technically started after school Friday night, but the weekend is different from the actual week off.

I'm feeling really good about writing and life right now. I wrote a bunch yesterday, and I'm writing a bunch again today. In fact, I just hit the 20,000 word mark in Awaking. (Considering draft one was only 53,000 words, it makes me feel pretty accomplished.) Now, I've never been one to really focus on word count of a book, but according to something I was reading, young adult novels should be between 50,000 and 70,000 words (with a "compelling" reason if over 70,000). I'm trying to bear that in mind as I write.

I'm having fun with this draft. Over the weekend, I reread the first draft. To say it was lame would be kind. The concept was there, but, if I'm honest, if I hadn't written it, I probably wouldn't have suffered through it. True, there were some funny parts, but the overall story was just kind of...a little out there. There was something missing. My second draft (into which I only got 8,000 words) solved some of the problems, but it was still missing something.

With draft three, I think I've made the tweaks and adjustments to the plot that are necessary to sustain it for a whole trilogy (which has always been the plan for this book).

The best thing, of course, is that the characters are coming alive. Writing this draft is reminding me of what it was like when I used to write back in high school. I'd go in with a general plan, but once I started writing, the characters did things I hadn't planned on. I love that. It's like...I point the characters in a direction, and then I just watch as they tell me what happens next.

I'm really enjoying getting to know the characters. Many of them have changed a lot since draft one. Ris, who, in draft one, was mostly a groupie now has a real friendship with the protagonist, Morgan. She's funny and she's got a personality of her own. I don't think she's annoying the way she was in draft one. Lucas is less of a puss. Corbin is more believable. And Morgan is more real.

I guess the point here is that I'm excited. My dream is still to have this draft finished by the end of the week so I can then solicit feedback from my peeps and do any editing necessary. The plan is to have this book published as an ebook (and perhaps print-on-demand, too) by June. And with my progress so far this week, I'm thinking that plan might actually reach fruition.

So, on that note, I'm going to stop blogging and get back to writing.

spring break

Note: This post was written on Saturday, 2 April.

Spring break has finally arrived, and the plan is to write and write and write.

In Awaking, I'm just hitting the inciting incident. Which means the writing should start getting a bit easier. I've introduced most of the main characters, the conflict has been introduced. Now the fun begins, really.

In truth, I'd love to be finished with the draft by the end of break. I don't know if that's realistic for me or not, but this is my year of dreaming big.

I think that getting our desktop computer fixed will really help. I've been working on my laptop, but the laptop is in the living room, along with the giant TV and Netflix streaming. And I find it rather difficult to sit in the living room without turning the TV on. So, being in the office on the desktop will probably help with my focus. I've got a playlist on my iPod all ready to go.

Brian's at home this morning, but he goes in to work at 2 o'clock. I plan to do some writing as soon as he's gone.

"i heard you were lookin' for me"

Note: This post was written on either Tuesday, 29 March or Wednesday, 20 March.

A few things:

First, guacamole is delicious. For real.

Second, I love Fringe. I'm rewatching season two right now, and I love it. I love Peter Bishop. And Gary Sinise. But that's another story.

Had my laptop at school today and was able to steal a few minutes to work on Awaking. I had been kind of stuck--just not sure exactly how to put into words what I wanted to say next. But I got through it a bit today, which was nice.

I think my problem right now is I'm thinking too big. I'm kind of scattered. Not only am I thinking about Awaking, but I'm thinking of the soccer story, and I'm thinking of Twice Over Water, and I'm thinking of future chick-lit. I need to focus.

I also need to eat more guacamole. And grade some papers. But that is neither here nor there.

looking forward

I'm a teacher (I don't know if I've mentioned that directly--and I'm still not sure I should), and the only thing that's sustaining me this week is the promise of Spring Break next week. Is it because I'll be in some tropical paradise, sipping mojitos and gazing at the majestic ocean as it gently laps at the shore? Nope. I'll still be in cold old Michigan and I have no plans to leave my house. At all.

I'm excited because I plan to devote all that time "off" to writing.

(Note that off is in quotation marks. A teacher is never really off. I am trying to orchestrate things so that I won't have anything to grade past maybe Friday [and as Friday is the end of the marking period, I think I can swing it], but I still have to plan for the coming weeks. Oh, and I'm taking a class for my Master's degree, and I'll have to do work for that over my break.)

I'm jealous when I read about other authors spending hours each day writing. I'd love to do that, but, as I mentioned in my last post, the real world keeps me from it. I suppose I could get up at four o'clock in the morning and spend an hour an a half or two hours writing, but I doubt it would be coherent at that point in the day. Now, I'll be the first to admit that my time management skills leave something to be desired. I know I've spent too many hours watching Stargate SG-1 instead of doing something even resembling productive. (It's just that Daniel Jackson is so pretty...) I would much rather read a good book than grade a test or an essay. And I'd rather check Facebook than do a class assignment.

But that has to change. I know it. And I'm hoping that next week will kick-start everything for me.

I've been meeting my goal of at-least-one-sentence-per-day since I set it last week, but, unfortunately, I'm not getting much more than that. Time, again, is not on my side.

But with next week off and Easter Weekend's writers' conference (at Rachel's place), I think April will be an excellent month for my writing endeavors.

As always, I'll keep you posted.

to be the rainmaker

I had hoped to update the blog earlier this week, but things have been a little out of hand. Since I took some time off from work last week, I ended up with a double-whammy of work to do this week: the assignments I neglected on my days off plus the work assigned while I was out. Couple that with a late night at work and no blogging is apparently the result.

I, like Rob Thomas, wish the real world would stop hassling me.

On a bright note, however, I have kept to my goal of writing at least one sentence every day. It seems like an insignificant goal, maybe, but I'm finding that having the consistent forward motion (even if it's just a little bit) is satisfying and even inspiring.

(I kind of feel like I should mention the whole Amanda-Hocking-signs-a-two-million-dollar-contract-with-a-traditional-publisher thing, but I have too many thoughts about it and don't want to subject you, dear reader, to the twists and turns in my mind. Let's just say I'll be watching with interest to see what happens next.)

I picked up a magazine on Sunday about writing a novel in 30 days. Now, I've read a book that promises the same outcome, but this magazine suggests a much more...organized approach to the writing process. A few of the tips have helped me to clarify and focus a bit, so we'll see how that goes. I don't know that I'm necessarily aiming for a book in 30 days or less, but it'd be nice. And I have spring break coming up the first week of April. I plan on devoting much of that time to writing. And then at the end of April, Rachel and I will hold a writers' conference over Easter weekend. I'm really looking forward to spending the time writing, reading each other's work, giving feedback, wearing sloth pants, and eating lots of mac and cheese. It should be epic.

As always, I wish I had a robot-me who could take over my daily responsibilities (or maybe just some of them) so that I had more time to do what I want to do (in this case, write). Alas, I have no robot. As with so many things in life, if I want to make this happen, I've got to find a way to make it happen. I've waited too long for the mystical genie to appear and offer me three wishes. It's time to take matters into my own hands and get stuff done.

I don't want to wonder anymore if I can "make it" as a writer. I don't want to wait any longer to "be" a writer. I am. It's in me. And in order to "make it," I've got to first make time for it.

And so, dear friends, I leave you. Time to write.

setting up for success

So, I'm home from Phase Two of Birthday Weekend Extravaganza. (Phase One was actually going OUT for St. Patty's day for the first time and hanging out with Rachel and other friends. Phase Two was Niagara and wineries. Phase three: dinosaurs.) I managed to get some reading done over the last 48 hours or so: While in the car on the way to Niagara, I read aloud long selections from The 4 Hour Body by Tim Ferriss to Brian (so he would not feel left out), and I also managed to finish Switched by Amanda Hocking.

Interestingly, both of these books solidified in me my resolve to get writing.

I meant to make a post to this effect on Thursday, but I wasn't at home long enough to do so, so here goes:

I'm making a commitment to myself. By the time I turn thirty (364 days from today; 2012 is a leap year), I will have completed (drafted and revised) three novels. (As for which three books, that's still a little up in the air. I really want to work on book one of my trilogy--working title is Awaking. But then I'm already 22,000+ words along in my yet-unnamed soccer story. And I'd really love to redo The Crystal Society simply because it's been around for so long--and I think the premise would be pretty well-received. So, right now, I'm thinking those are the three.) Also by March 17, 2012, I will have published these three novels (probably through Smashwords or something similar). And in order to get this done, I commit to writing at least one sentence every day.

Okay, I know what you're thinking: One sentence? You'll never get anything done that way.

Look, I didn't say I'd write only one sentence, just at least one, every day, no matter what. That's a goal I can live with, and it sets me up for success, unlike a goal of, say, two pages per day.

So, I'll let you know how this goes.

I'd write more, but it's time for me to write my at least one sentence for the day. I think I'll work on...Awaking. I've been thinking about it since Niagara. Wish me luck!

why i have to

When I was really young -- kindergarten, maybe -- I remember walking into my bedroom while my mom called something after me. In my mind, I added, "Mom said."

In the fifth grade, I wrote a story in a notebook. And then another one.

In middle school, all my "story" notebook were the same color (teal, for some reason) so I could discriminate easily between them and my academic notebooks.

(I still have these notebooks, by the way.)

I passed the stories around. I inspired others to write stories, too.

In the ninth grade, I finished my first book. It wasn't my first long story, but it was, for some reason, the most important story I'd yet written. I remember walking the halls of my high school telling strangers that I had just finished my novel (and I probably had a ream of paper in my hand to prove it).

My senior year, I had an independent study wherein my task for the year was to complete a novel.

...and on and on...

There's never a time in my memory when I haven't thought of stories, told stories, written stories. And nothing brings me more joy than weaving a world from words, than crying while I write an emotional moment, than hearing from someone else that they're enjoying reading something I've written.

I think we've all got a purpose in life. Well, probably, we all have a great many purposes, but I'm talking about Purpose. And mine has always been writing.

And finally the planets are aligning.

revision woes

Rewriting always makes me a little sad.

Now, understand when I say "rewriting," I don't mean "rewriting small sections of text," I mean "rewriting entire drafts." Why, you may ask? Well, I guess the easy answer is twofold: I am both stubborn and lazy. I'll start writing a draft and I'll be convinced it's working. I'll have plans, and the draft will, more or less, follow those plans. And I'll get to the end of the draft and I'll feel very accomplished for having finished something. And then I'll start rereading. And then the pain begins.

I'll think, Really, I thought this was a good idea?

And I'll finally see all the shortcomings my idea had to begin with. Now, I'm not saying that my idea was completely worthless or anything--far from it. Instead, I'll see that I didn't execute the idea to the best of my ability.

Thus the rewrite.

Take, for example, a story I started back in high school. (High school! I've now been teaching high school longer than I ever attended it.) This particular story, which never did have a name, ended up being 87,000+ words long (and I never did "end" the thing). I realize now that, while the basic premise was good, the execution was lacking. It sounds like a high school kid wrote it because, well, one did. So, within the last year or two, I decided to completely overhaul this book. I've kept the same characters and many of the same plot points, but I've changed a great many things, too. I'm now in the rewriting phase.  As of today, I'm at 22,400 words. It's a little sad; the book now is only a quarter as long as the original draft had been. And it's not even like I can cannibalize parts of the original draft: This is, in essence, a completely new book.

Now, if this were an isolated incident, it might not be so depressing. Alas. I have two more "first drafts" that are suffering through the same fate.

I know that the books will be better for the extra work, but it's disheartening. I'd like to think that I could write a really good first draft--one that, sure, would need a few edits, but that would be pretty much what I wanted it to be.

I guess I'm not being entirely fair to myself. The book I referenced above and one of the others are works I wrote in high school. And while, yes, I'd like to think that I had some talent as a high schooler, I'm also woman enough to admit that I wouldn't really like for anyone else to read these works.

So, I suppose what I really need now is the followthrough required to rewrite. Because, let's face it, in the long run, it'll be worth it.

old school thinking in a new school world

Okay. I've already established that I plan to publish the ebook way. New school, right? Make a name for myself, blaze a trail, all that. But there's still something in me that's drawn to the allure of books-in-print. Now, I love my NOOK and seem to find more time to read now than I have in the past, but there's something reassuring about the feel of a paperback in your hand, you know? So I still would like, someday, to see my stories transformed into real-life ink-and-paper babies. Something I could hold out to someone and say, "See this, here? This is mine."

But I guess that's not the only reason. While I'm excited by the prospect of getting my stories out there for people to read, I almost feel like going the self-publishing-ebook way is a bit of a cheat. Here's what I mean: No one has said, "Yes, this book is worthy of publishing. People should read this book." Well, I've said this, of course, but it hasn't been verified by outside sources.

(Perhaps that's where sales and reviews come in. Let the people say what they think of the books.)

I guess my fear is this: I tell someone, "Hey, I've published some books. You should read them." That person says, "Sounds awesome. Next time I'm at the book store, I'll pick one up." And I say, "Oh, you can only buy them online because I self-published online." I fear then the person might not be as eager to read what I've written. It's not gone through any sort of vetting system, so it might not be any good--or so this person may think.

To be fair, there have always been books written and published (traditionally published!) that have been...not very good. I remember one specifically--it was written by a French teen (probably why it was published--a gimmick) and it was not skillfully executed. I think the story was an okay idea, but...it just wasn't good. And I know there are other examples like this in the world. I know more than one author has lamented, "How did that crap get published when no one will publish me?" But my fear is that self-published ebooks might have that same air of mystery (and not the good kind) to them--like mystery meat. It might be okay, but you really don't want to try just in case it leaves you camped out on the toilet all night.

I remember a couple years ago I got an e-mail from a former student. She was doing a poll for a college class she was in and the subject was publishing. One of the questions asked whether I thought there should  be more avenues for unknown authors to use to get published. Of course, that's only what I think the question was asking--it was so poorly constructed I couldn't really tell. That's the thing: I've known a great many "writers" in my time who have thought their work was phenomenal but whose work was really clunky, confusing, poor. (Now, before you think I'm being stuck up, please know that I count myself among these authors. The works I wrote in middle- and high school are atrocious. The ideas were good, perhaps, but the execution is lacking. Not that you could have convinced my teenage self of that.) Indeed, I have seen a couple of ebooks of such poor quality that I've not been able to read them (grammar is not dead!).

My fear is being lumped into that group. My fear is not being taken seriously.

But a bigger fear is never being heard, never sharing my stories. Never living.

So, this old school girl is trying to shift her paradigm and accept the future.

grabbing life

Well, today is the day, I suppose. It could be said about any day, really, but today really is the day.

Encouraged by the success authors like Amanda Hocking have had with epublishing, my friend and birthday twin Rachel and I have decided to grab life by the cajones and do what we have always wanted to do: write books and make them available for others to read.

So, here we are, less than a week before we both hit the big 2-9, trying to make our lives what we want them to be.

I'm working on a couple projects at the moment, waiting to see which one wins out for the time being. I'll update you with more details later.

So, why am I keeping this blog? Part to be kept accountable. Part to let my voice be heard. Part just to write. Because a girl's got to, let's face it.