Saturday, March 26, 2011

The highs and lows

First of all, it must be said, Internet, I have missed the hell out of you! Since the lovely people from at&t left 3 cable boxes and a flashy looking wireless modem at my house, I have been in media heaven. I forgot how wonderful Bravo, Food network and HGTV truly are. I have been on facebook, reading blogs, and checking out writers forums like its my job. Bliss.

Today I am going to make a conscious effort to unplug so I can tackle some writing. It's been a few days since I've put much on paper and I've been feeling crappy about that.

Let me briefly explain how the process of this book has gone thus far:
1.Maddie and I get all worked up about indie publishing, making our dreams come true, fulfilling our life's purpose, blah, blah, blah.
2.I write like a crazy person for a week and a half, knocking out close to 20,000 words.
3. I love, love, love my novel.
4. I wake up one morning and decide my novel is, in fact, the worst thing I have ever written.

Its crazy the way I can feel such different emotions about the same words on two different days. But man, once those doubts start to set in, its tough to even want to write. The whole thing has felt clunky and heavy, the opposite of what you want in a chick-lit novel. So I've been battling with myself for a few days, trying to get out of my head and just write. Regardless of whether its good or bad, regardless of whether I end up trashing the whole thing in revision. I need to just write. But I couldn't get myself there.

But then today I woke up with a vision. Fully formed in my head was a new way to lay the whole thing out and, hopefully, freshen it up and make it feel lighter. And now, again, I'm looking at my novel with a fresh set of eyes. It feels great.

I know this ease of writing won't last forever, I know there will be many more days where I am convinced I, and my book, suck. But for today I will take it and be grateful...and hopefully get a lot of words down on that paper.

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