Hitting send

This has been a big couple of days for me in my development as a writer. I did something that I typically have a hard time doing- I let someone else read what I wrote.

That probably sounds pretty crazy, right? Someone who wants to be a writer has a hard time letting people read her writing? Crazy, perhaps, but true. Many writers have talked a lot about how they always wanted to be a writer, about how they never stopped writing no matter what . Maddie has plenty of unfinished or partially finished manuscripts under her belt. My journey has been somewhat different.

I love writing, and I always have. When I was younger, I wrote a lot of fiction. Once I got to high school, I pretty much stopped. While I still really enjoyed writing essays and articles, the fiction just stopped for me. I'm not sure why.

Actually, I do know why- I lost confidence. I didn't think I was good enough. I didn't think there was any point. And that self-doubt translated into terror at showing anyone my fiction. That feeling has stayed with me for many years.

Finishing this novel has been such an amazing accomplishment for me. I never believed I could do it. The only thing more amazing is that I am willingly (eagerly, even) sharing my work with other people. I have sent the completed draft to be read by three beta readers (all friends) and have sent the opening chapters out to critique sites to get feedback from strangers.

It was scary, hitting that send button to deliver the manuscript to other people. But it was exhilarating too. And you know what? I've gotten some really awesome feedback- and not just from my friends. Strangers seem to like my book too! But the weirdest thing is this: the positive reviews (though really fun and awesome) are not my favorite part of this process. The best part, for me, has been the constructive feedback I've gotten. I have a dozen or so really good ideas for changes. Things that might make my book better.

I'm so excited to do that- to make my book better. And I'm even more excited to share it with all of you when it gets there.

throes of revision

So, Rachel's got her book revised and off to beta-readers and critique groups...and I'm still revising.

I think it's really good that Rachel and I are on this journey together because I get to compare my progress against someone else's. If I didn't have her constant tweeting about how awesome she is (because she is!), I might think I'm doing alright. And I guess I am, really, I just wish I were a little further along in my process.

But, I've only got 17 more days of school (plus records' day, but that doesn't REALLY count). After that, I've got approximately three glorious months wherein I'm going to live the life I eventually want to live full-time: the life of a writer.

I say this every summer. Every summer, I have a list of things I plan to do--writing is usually one of those things. But I'm lazy by nature, and other things seem to win out (lame movies and TV on DVD are perennial winners). But this year, it's real. I think having a goal in mind (namely ebook publishing and having all three books of my trilogy out by August) will keep me focused. And, of course, a little friendly competition.

It's good I've got support for this venture. Not that people in my life haven't always been supportive of my wanting to write--this is just a different kind of support. Not only do I have Rachel, I have another friend who is also writing YA who is giving me LOTS of feedback and advice, and I know Awaking will be much, much better for it.

It also helps to have a timeline for everything. Yes, I want the Naturals trilogy to be out by August. But that's not the end of the dream. Rachel and I have plans to be 30 and out (as evidenced by our created Twitter hashtag). Now, I know I can't control how many people buy my books. I mean, I can encourage them to do so, but, really, I can't force anyone. So, I'm focusing on the one thing I can control: the books themselves. I'm working on these revisions to turn this book into the great story I know it is (somewhere, deep down). I'm still working from the advice given to me by my mentor teacher in high school: you can't assume the reader knows what you know. I used to start scenes all the time with dialogue and just assume that the reader would know that the characters were at lunch, at a baseball game, on the moon, etc. I would, of course, reveal said location a few paragraphs in, but I didn't realize that the reader needed to be told before that. It's kind of the same thing in Awaking right now: The reader will realize certain things down the line, but if I don't get her attention to begin with, she won't read far enough to figure it out.

So, now that I've got the bare bones down, I need to finish my surface revision/edit (adding simple scenes, fixing awkward wording and typing errors) and then start on the real work. I need to amp up some characters, I know it. I need to add more interactions with said characters. I need more intrigue, I need more investment...

I know what I need. I have ideas in my mind of what needs to be added and modified. I just have to do it.

And I will. I'm going to start right now.

Big Weekend

First of all, I just wrote this post, and then lost it before I could publish. It started as a post full of excitement and optimism. Now I'm grouchy. I'll try to regain the happy fun talk...

So, it was a big weekend! Maddie came over for the first ever Writer's Weekend. It was really awesome to spend the time with Maddie. Plus, I got A LOT done!

First, and most importantly, I completed my first draft. I am so excited! I have never finished a novel length piece before, so I'm awfully proud. Ive been doing a fair amount of revising as I wrote, so I'm hoping the editing/revising process goes fairly quickly.

Speaking of which, I contacted a proofreader. He did a sample for me and I think its going to work out really well, so that's exciting!

Lastly, I contacted a cover artist and spent a lot of time looking through stock photos for the cover. I have at least four very different ideas for what I want, which makes it tough. I wish I had at least some ability to use Gimp or Fotoflexer so I could play around a little. Sigh.

But for the most part, things are going well. I am sitting here on the couch with a binder filled with my draft next to me. I just keep looking at it- I wrote that! I'm so proud of it!

Pathetic, isn't it? Can you imagine how bad it will be when I actually have a paperback proof in my hands?

revision woes

Rewriting always makes me a little sad.

Now, understand when I say "rewriting," I don't mean "rewriting small sections of text," I mean "rewriting entire drafts." Why, you may ask? Well, I guess the easy answer is twofold: I am both stubborn and lazy. I'll start writing a draft and I'll be convinced it's working. I'll have plans, and the draft will, more or less, follow those plans. And I'll get to the end of the draft and I'll feel very accomplished for having finished something. And then I'll start rereading. And then the pain begins.

I'll think, Really, I thought this was a good idea?

And I'll finally see all the shortcomings my idea had to begin with. Now, I'm not saying that my idea was completely worthless or anything--far from it. Instead, I'll see that I didn't execute the idea to the best of my ability.

Thus the rewrite.

Take, for example, a story I started back in high school. (High school! I've now been teaching high school longer than I ever attended it.) This particular story, which never did have a name, ended up being 87,000+ words long (and I never did "end" the thing). I realize now that, while the basic premise was good, the execution was lacking. It sounds like a high school kid wrote it because, well, one did. So, within the last year or two, I decided to completely overhaul this book. I've kept the same characters and many of the same plot points, but I've changed a great many things, too. I'm now in the rewriting phase.  As of today, I'm at 22,400 words. It's a little sad; the book now is only a quarter as long as the original draft had been. And it's not even like I can cannibalize parts of the original draft: This is, in essence, a completely new book.

Now, if this were an isolated incident, it might not be so depressing. Alas. I have two more "first drafts" that are suffering through the same fate.

I know that the books will be better for the extra work, but it's disheartening. I'd like to think that I could write a really good first draft--one that, sure, would need a few edits, but that would be pretty much what I wanted it to be.

I guess I'm not being entirely fair to myself. The book I referenced above and one of the others are works I wrote in high school. And while, yes, I'd like to think that I had some talent as a high schooler, I'm also woman enough to admit that I wouldn't really like for anyone else to read these works.

So, I suppose what I really need now is the followthrough required to rewrite. Because, let's face it, in the long run, it'll be worth it.