on a roll

So, I'm for-real revising. I've moved things. I've added things. I've even deleted bits.

It feels good, but weird. The first couple chapters have been written for so long, so changing anything in them is strange. I think it'll be easier revising the newer stuff, just because I'm not as used to it.

I'm just excited to make things better. I really, really like this draft, but I know that there are some bits missing. (And not just the scenes I skipped over toward the end.) There are some things to change, some things to clarify.

I can't say that revision is the most difficult part of the process, but it's definitely a challenge. I shift between being convinced that what I've written is right and doesn't need any improvement and thinking that I'll never be done fixing it. And then, of course, there are the thoughts of impossibilities: How do I differentiate my characters' voices so that they don't all sound like the same person? How do I keep readers interested throughout the whole story? Throughout the whole series?

It'll be worth it, though. That's what I keep telling myself. Everything I do is making my book better. I hope.

I really don't want to put out something mediocre just because I'm so excited to get something out there. As much as I want to get started with ebooks, I want what I put out there to be great.

Truth? I'm totally jealous of Rachel, because she's farther along on the journey than I am. (Though she is busy watching Fringe of late, so maybe that'll give me some time to catch up.)

So, in order for me to get things done, I've got to stop watching Stargate SG-1 (Walter Bishop's in this episode!) and continue the revising process. Chapter two! I saw two bunnies today, which is an auspiscious sign.

The highs and lows

First of all, it must be said, Internet, I have missed the hell out of you! Since the lovely people from at&t left 3 cable boxes and a flashy looking wireless modem at my house, I have been in media heaven. I forgot how wonderful Bravo, Food network and HGTV truly are. I have been on facebook, reading blogs, and checking out writers forums like its my job. Bliss.

Today I am going to make a conscious effort to unplug so I can tackle some writing. It's been a few days since I've put much on paper and I've been feeling crappy about that.

Let me briefly explain how the process of this book has gone thus far:
1.Maddie and I get all worked up about indie publishing, making our dreams come true, fulfilling our life's purpose, blah, blah, blah.
2.I write like a crazy person for a week and a half, knocking out close to 20,000 words.
3. I love, love, love my novel.
4. I wake up one morning and decide my novel is, in fact, the worst thing I have ever written.

Its crazy the way I can feel such different emotions about the same words on two different days. But man, once those doubts start to set in, its tough to even want to write. The whole thing has felt clunky and heavy, the opposite of what you want in a chick-lit novel. So I've been battling with myself for a few days, trying to get out of my head and just write. Regardless of whether its good or bad, regardless of whether I end up trashing the whole thing in revision. I need to just write. But I couldn't get myself there.

But then today I woke up with a vision. Fully formed in my head was a new way to lay the whole thing out and, hopefully, freshen it up and make it feel lighter. And now, again, I'm looking at my novel with a fresh set of eyes. It feels great.

I know this ease of writing won't last forever, I know there will be many more days where I am convinced I, and my book, suck. But for today I will take it and be grateful...and hopefully get a lot of words down on that paper.